Itz troo -- I waz wunce a babee catt two. The Bean (datz whot I kall her) and mee kayme frum the sayme playce two livv wit ar peepl. I pheel dey gawt a mutch bedder dele whenn dey gawt me. So wot iff Ime afrayd of everywon but mye peepl -- I jes done lyke whenn aliens comm two mie hous so I hyde. Sumtymes I send The Bean owt to chek whooze there or try an git rid of them, but it yewshewally doeznt werk. Shee's the killer in dis howse and Ime the luvver, butt onlee wit my peepl. No won elss iz permittttted two tutch dis tempul!!!! Ever!!! 
Mom's mie fayvret peepl. Pop sez wee ar sergicly attatched, wotever dat meenz.
I missss Mom's ole compewtr -- I hed sutch a grayt playce to keepe warm.
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